Healthy Screen Habits Takeaway

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Simplifying Play: website

Show Transcript

Hillary Wilkinson (00:12):

When was the last time you played? One of the true joys of becoming a parent or caregiver of young kids is we often rediscover the wonder and fun of play. So that being said, this time in our life typically partners with an increase of adult responsibilities, like mountains of laundry, meal prep, coordinating multiple schedules, et cetera. So enter my new hero. She is a magical playtime fairy who truly understands the ins, outs and in-betweens of early childhood, and is here to share with us how to keep the play going. Sarah Szuminski is the founder of Simplifying Play the account you did not know you needed to follow! Sarah is a wife and mom of two, has a master's degree in early childhood special education, and has worked with young children and their families since high school. She is passionate about both the power of play as well as helping parents discover their role in playful learning. Welcome to Healthy Screen Habits. Sarah,

Sarah Szuminski (01:39):

Thank you so much for having me, Hillary. I'm so excited to be here.

Hillary Wilkinson (01:44):

Yay. So Sarah, this season I'm doing a focus on Tech Tots and Littles. Our youngest members of our population I feel sometimes need the biggest advocates. We hold the responsibility of speaking for those who can't talk. And before we get into this serious matter of play, I was wondering if you could share kind of your story of how you came to start Simplifying Play?

Sarah Szuminski (02:14):

Of course. So simplifying play was born of my work with my young daughter. Um, my daughter Hazel is six and she has Down Syndrome. And my background is in early childhood special education. And when I became a stay-home mom when she was 18 months old, I wanted to put all of this awesome stuff that I had learned and I had been doing in my professional career at work in our home. And so simplifying play actually started as an account where I shared a little peaks of ways I was working, learning and therapy into our days. And the more that I spent time trying to make learning feel like play, I realized that I really should be focusing on just the play. Mm. She was very little and we were spending a ton of time going to therapies and me doing our therapy homework.

Sarah Szuminski (03:19):

And I was realizing that we were missing out on this vital piece that all little kids should have, and that's the ability to choose what they wanna do and have fun doing it. And I was focusing so much on making learning playful that I forgot to focus on the play that is all around us every day. And so my little account that was about our day, day-to-day life morphed into Simplifying Play when I realized that I can't be the only parent struggling with how to make space for play, both in my home and in my days. And really to help families figure out what play actually looks like because Instagram and social media is filled with these beautiful images of curated playrooms and toddlers doing amazing things, right? We get one little snippet of people's lives. 

Hillary Wilkinson (04:18):

And typically the playrooms are like these muted colors of white and tan Mm mm-hmm. <affirmative> and

Sarah Szuminski (04:26):

Expensive toys

Hillary Wilkinson (04:27):

Yes, <laugh>.

Sarah Szuminski (04:30):

And it's all very aspirational and inspiring, but that's not really what play looks like. And so my mission for Simplifying Play, my mission on my blog and website and then my Instagram is to help families discover what play looks like for their little ones so that they can make space to embrace that play and see the power of play, both for their kids and then for us as caregivers. Because it really does give us breathing room when our kids know how to play.

Hillary Wilkinson (05:01):

Very nice. Thank you for making space for the, uh, heavy duty work of play and the mess that, that sometimes it holds hands with. So let's, let's start with just kind of at the very beginning with a, like a basic definition because play is one of these things that everybody kind of understands yet nobody really gets. So I was wondering if you could, like, if you could boil it down and define play and like what is the play state?

Sarah Szuminski (05:38):

When we think of play, right, and we hear all these awesome quotes about play and we think about play and we think of a kid building with blocks or a child swinging on swings or these play activities. But play is really anything that is self-chosen for recreation. So for young children, play needs to be child selected, child led, and bring the child joy, which is why oftentimes we see a baby or a toddler banging on a pot and pan and that is play to them. It's something that they've discovered, something that's bringing them joy and play goes through many stages, but it always comes back to even as adults, it's something that we have chosen that brings us joy, that is a recreation of some sort.

Sarah Szuminski (06:39):

Play is fun, right? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, uhhuh, <affirmative>. And so oftentimes we see, we hear the phrase learning through play. I don't know if you've, that gets tossed around a lot. I dunno if you've heard that phrase. But oftentimes learning through play is accompanied by like an adult guided activity. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And while adult guided activities and adult designed things can be playful, they are not actually true play for our kids. So we're really looking for those moments. What is my child drawn to? How do they like to spend their time if I have no demands on them, if they have no demands on them for that period?

Hillary Wilkinson (07:17):

So I think that's so important cuz I feel like play often gets dismissed by, by the tall people, <laugh> mm-hmm. <affirmative> the adults who are looking for kind of like these measurements of productivity, you know? And the a phrase that, a phrase that gets thrown around again and again in early child development is that play is the work of childhood. I feel like that's a translation so that adults understand the importance of play. So, but like, can you explain why is it important?

Sarah Szuminski (08:00):

100% Play is the work of childhood totally makes sense to us as adults because it seems like play should be our children's occupation, right? It should be how they spend their days. But play is truly our brain's favorite way of learning. When we are playing, we are getting to practice new skills in a low stress, low pressure way. So you think of a baby who's learning how to roll over and you place them on a blanket and put a toy to the side, and if you step back and watch, they practice over and over and over again. For a baby that is play, they are getting to practice the new skill without any pressure from anyone. It's them literally learning how to move their bodies in space and figure out how gravity works and all these amazing things. If we take it a little step further to early childhood, in the early childhood years, there's this huge push happening for early academics to have a higher priority in our young children's lives. So children of the age of three and four are now, it, it becomes a point of pride when our little ones can say the alphabet or count to 30 or all of these different markers, like you say these markers

Hillary Wilkinson (09:27):

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, this is like assessments and measurements.

Sarah Szuminski (09:30):

It becomes something that we can say, “Oh, they know how to do that now.” But a lot of those things aren't true learning. A lot of those things are memorization. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so when you think about a little one learning their letter, so let's say my daughter Hazel, learning to write an H for the first time as a preschooler, her practicing writing an H with like her occupational therapist might have been fun, but that wasn't play. The play comes when she discovers a pack of post-it notes, I left on the counter and writes an H on every single one and sticks them all over the house, starts writing H’s with sticks in the snow, uses her finger to trace it in, um, sand in the sandbox, maybe finds a cool marker and writes H on the wall. <laugh>. I mean, all of these things that are kinda messy and can seem a little annoying to us are actually ways that our brain is practicing and categorizing new learning through play. So it's that self-chosen and fun piece that really helps us cement pathways for future learning.

Hillary Wilkinson (10:40):

Right? When you get into the kind of the physiology of learning the whole, there's that phrase, neurons that fire together wire together. So that continued practice of play allows for later work, if you will.

Sarah Szuminski (11:00):

100%.

Hillary Wilkinson (11:00):

But it's Yeah. Yeah. I totally get that.

Sarah Szuminski (11:02):

And, and a lot of the things that kids practice in play are hard work. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I mean, a little one, learning how to stack blocks is learning spatial awareness and, um, shapes and geometry as they figure out:  Where can I stick these things? They're learning about balance, they're learning perseverance as their tower falls down and they take a deep breath and build it again. Those are huge things that have to happen before we can do math right?. For sure. We have to know all of these things. And something like playing with blocks or lining up my favorite cars or sorting my dinosaurs versus my jungle animals and categorizing, that's all play, but it's also early math learning. So Very true. It's all, it's also amazing how the brain does create those maps of future success.

Hillary Wilkinson (11:58):

Yeah. Yeah. So we have to take a break, but when we come back, we're gonna dive deeper into figuring out the healthiest ways to help our littles become independent players and what role tech has, if any, in the play zone. 

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Hillary Wilkinson:

Sarah Szuminski is a mom whose mission is to help parents discover their role in playful learning from thoughtful toy selection and display to encouraging families to connect through outside play. She's passionate about helping you help your child play. So, Sarah, now I have to ask, what are your favorite ways to play as an adult?

Sarah Szuminski (15:21):

As an adult? So, I love puzzles. Mm-hmm. I love reading and I love going for walks with girlfriends, <laugh>. Those are my post baby years. I have two young children and that's how I've been rediscovering the things that I love. Falling back in love with, reading for pleasure, going for walks with friends, um, and spending time outside with my family. That's how I play.

Hillary Wilkinson (15:52):

That's what fills your, fills your cup. Good to hear it. Good to hear it. And I'm glad you're, I'm glad you're making time for your own play. I

Sarah Szuminski (16:03):

Know it. You have to learn how to do it again, you know. Yeah. And I think that when you're in the trenches of caregiving, it can be really hard to see that that is a form of self-care. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, it really is a form of taking care of ourselves as saying what brings me joy and how can I have more of that play in my life,

Hillary Wilkinson (16:20):

<laugh>. I agree. I agree. So we, I, because we're healthy screen habits, I want to talk a little bit about tech with mm-hmm. <affirmative> littles. Okay. So the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time except for video chatting with, with loved ones or, you know, people who have a vested relationship with, for babies up to 18 months. They recommend minimal screen time and only shared screen time with an adult for toddlers, 18 months to two years, and no more than one hour per day of screen media entertainment for preschoolers. So I'm like, I've, I'm reading these guidelines, I don't even know what that last part means. screen media entertainment. 

Sarah Szuminski (17:16):

Mean like all encompassing anything.

Hillary Wilkinson (17:18):

Like I know, I know. That's, I feel like, I feel like when that, that's committee writing is what that

Sarah Szuminski (17:22):

Is <laugh> that is 100%. Like let's just cover all of our bases. Exactly. Anything that is bright and shiny. <laugh>. Yeah.

Hillary Wilkinson (17:29):

Right, right. Media. No, I'm like, does that mean like, like educate, I'm using air quotes, which, you know, how smart is that to do on a podcast using, using visual aids, but is that like, so-called “educational screen time”, like, you know, and what constitutes as educational and anyway mm-hmm. <affirmative>, those are the recommendations. So those are kind of our chosen board of experts as in the US and here's the thing, I think unless people know the why behind the recommendations, we are less compelled to follow them. I think when it comes to any form of guidelines or mm-hmm. You know, recommendations mm-hmm. <affirmative> until you know the why behind it. So I'd really like to talk about the “why”, what makes offline play so different from online play?

Sarah Szuminski (18:22):

Offline play is a full sensory experience. Offline play engages every part of the body and brain. So when your little one is running outside on the playground, they are feeling the wind on their face. They are hearing birds or airplanes in the sky or traffic going by. They're learning how to adapt to changing terrain, which builds core strength. Then shoulder strength, then leg strength. They're learning risk assessment. They are, um, developing better eye control as they shift to far away horizons versus like, most rooms in our home are six to eight feet the farthest we can see. And when we have a screen, it's six to 10 to 12 inches. I don't know, when my kids hold onto a phone, it's inches from their face. So real life play engages every bit of the body and mind and really does help us get to that deeper learning, that deeper, um, forms of creativity and expression.

Sarah Szuminski (19:38):

Mm-hmm. <affirmative> versus online learning or online play, which is typically in the form for young children of things that advertise themselves as educational, either programming or educational apps. Those really focus on more of the memorization side of things. And as I said earlier, with this early push for academics, memorization doesn't actually mean that we can do anything except for repeat a song, right? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I can memorize a ton of things, but I might not be able to tell you where they fit in the world. I can memorize names and words and places, but not understand what those things actually mean. And so when we want our children to really have this deep play that has to happen when we give them time and space to move their bodies and explore the way that they want to.

Hillary Wilkinson (20:34):

Excellent.

Sarah Szuminski (20:35):

It can be really challenging, right. It's very challenging to like leave time for that, but it's really important. Right,

Hillary Wilkinson (20:42):

Right. And I, I know that, um, like one of the key milestone markers, if you will, is the ability to stack blocks like, you know, the make a tower and mm-hmm. <affirmative>, there's, I mean these are, these are like, as an early childhood educator, you kind of look for these milestones to see if kids can do it. Yeah. And I have, um, dealt with parents mm-hmm. <affirmative> who have kids who on their tablet, they feel as though they are hitting that milestone because on the tablet, on the touch screen, their child can stack those one dimensional blocks one on top of another by dragging them. But when you try to transfer that skill to a real life setting, putting the blocks in front of the child mm-hmm. <affirmative>, it doesn't transfer mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So I think, I think that as well, that whole skill transference doesn't necessarily occur that right. That, that Ed, the Ed EdTech folks would like you to believe. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. It does.

Sarah Szuminski (21:52):

And even some of the games that work on letter and sound awareness, when your child's tracing a letter using their pointer finger, that doesn't necessarily mean that then they can turn around and hold a pencil. And before we can even hold a pencil, we have to have a variety of different experiences with our hands and our wrists and our arms that all happen through play. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you know, learning how to climb a tree or crawling uneven surfaces. All these different things do way more for preparing us for future writing than tracing a letter using a pointer finger on an app.

Hillary Wilkinson (22:28):

Right. Right. And clearly, I mean, the social practice that comes with hundred percent imaginative play is mm-hmm. <affirmative> unparalleled. So <laugh>, yes. Yeah. Many times the reason we turn to screens for our children's entertainment is to kind of, uh, just for lack of a better term, anchor them so that we can get something done. So one thing I know from being in this niche is if we are asking people to give up the use of tech, we need to provide some ideas with how to keep kiddos independently involved in something so that we can make those phone calls, cook the dinner, et cetera. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, how do you recommend parents foster or teach how to play independently?

Sarah Szuminski (23:19):

Well, I think you just said the key thing right there. We have to teach our children to independent play. This isn't necessarily something that comes naturally to young children. Young children are social beings. They crave being close to their primary caregivers and to the people that they love. And so my biggest tips for independent play are to practice, practice, practice <laugh>, and, um, make it a part of your day. Hmm. So even though we are busy, when we set the expectation that play is our child's work, we have jobs we have to do as caregivers, they might not see us at work, but maybe it's making dinner, maybe it's folding laundry, maybe it's answering emails. That's our work, and we need time to do that just as our kids need time to play. And so the big things that I focus on, um, the first thing is making sure that we connect with our children, that we fill their cups and prepare them to play on their own. So that means meeting those basic needs. So making sure that they're not hungry, making sure that they have a dry diaper or they've recently gone to the bathroom and making sure that we've spent a couple of minutes just connecting with them without any distractions for us. And that can be a snuggle on the couch, reading a story together, doing a chore together. Washing dishes together is a form of connection, sitting and coloring together, whatever it is that fills your child's cup. Doing that first. And then my second suggestion is to keep the phrase in your mind “present but not available.” So we want to be close to our children within their line of sight, but not necessarily available as their playmate. So maybe that looks like putting a basket of favorite toys in the kitchen <laugh> so that your child can access the things that they love while you are doing something you have to do.

Sarah Szuminski (25:35):

Maybe it looks like sitting and reading a story and then saying, “okay, mom's gotta go fold laundry now. Do you want to build a giant tower for your action figures? Or do you wanna build a train track? I'm gonna sit over there. I can't wait to see what you make.” You're still in that line of sight. You're still present, but you're not available. You are not there as a playmate. And then the third thing, and this is something I talk about on my account a lot, is to simplify the amount of things that we have out for our children. Our children can play for longer and reach deeper levels of play with the fewer amount of toys that they have. So there's actually studies that have been done that toddlers given 18 toys or six toys, the children who have access to six toys play with more attention and play more creatively than the children that have access to 18 toys.

Sarah Szuminski (26:49):

Now that is a research study, so that's like in, in a very controlled environment. But in your own home, having out only the things that your child truly loves and can play within a multitude of ways will get you much farther than having every toy they've ever received. <laugh>. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> out for them to have to dig through to find the pieces to the thing that they really wanna play, which means they have to come get you to come and help them to come back and get them started again. And so something I chat about a lot is if we are feeling overwhelmed by the stuff of play and the stuff of childhood, then our children are most definitely feeling overwhelmed. Right. By the amount of toys they have.

Hillary Wilkinson (27:42):

Right. Because then actually the skill that's being worked on then isn't play at all, it's decision making.

Sarah Szuminski (27:51):

A hundred

Hillary Wilkinson (27:52):

Percent. Yeah. So you start layering all of these things and all of a sudden that that intrinsic motivator of joy gets sucked right out of it. <laugh>. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So,

Sarah Szuminski (28:03):

Right. Yeah. It's like if you walk into your closet and you know you have a few favorite things, but you have to get past all the things that you don't enjoy wearing to get those few favorite things. It's better to not have a bunch of things you don't wear because it makes your morning more complicated. The same thing happens to our kids if they walk in a playroom and see 400 options of things they could possibly use, but they really wanna find their favorite baby doll, the baby doll's diaper and the baby doll's bottle. But they have to go through all those other options first. They might play for a couple minutes as they rediscover toys, but they're not going to get to that deep play that they're seeking. So that's one of my top tips for encouraging independent play is actually starting with less <laugh>.

Sarah Szuminski (28:52):

And over the summer I actually put away half of my children's toys, <laugh>. I was like, Hey, I'm gonna practice what I preach. Because our playroom was out of control. We were spending a ton of time outside, which was awesome. But when we were inside, I felt like I was constantly refereeing sibling disagreements and trying to redirect play and saying,” Not right now. Not right now. Go play.” Which actually doesn't help anybody go and play <laugh>. Right. And so I was like, all right, I'm gonna put a half of half of our toys. I put away our play kitchen, I put away a ton of dress up, do toys, things that my children used all the time, but we're not serving a purpose in their active play. And the amount of play and focus skyrocketed. It was amazing to me. 

Hillary Wilkinson (29:43):

So validating!

Sarah Szuminski (29:45):

For what you're shelf of toys? Yes. <laugh>.

Hillary Wilkinson (29:49):

Yeah. So we are currently in the shortest, longest month of the year <laugh> in parts of the country. Snow can be expected for at least a few more weeks, if not more. And all the brand new toys with the winter holidays have kind of lost their shine. But you have an amazing curriculum that is chock a block full of fun. Can you tell us about Nature Play?

Sarah Szuminski (30:37):

I can! So Nature Play today is my nature curriculum designed specifically for young children and their caregivers. The purpose of this curriculum is not to build academic skills. It's not a homeschooling curriculum. Instead it's a way for families to connect with each other and connect with the world around them. So each month has a nature guide, so it's a year round curriculum, and each month is a nature guide that focuses on one key aspect of nature. Um, so in February we actually talk about the night sky because the days beautiful are still short. And the night sky is something that you experience no matter what climate you live in, if you're in the, and if you're in the northern hemisphere. Our days are shorter still, in February. And so we read books about the moon cycles and about the solar system and we spend time looking up at the stars. There are ideas for playing outside in the dark and getting outside. 

Sarah Szuminski (33:12):

Each month has book recommendations! Play and art invitations that are simple ideas to get you outside exploring. There are guided nature walks, so literally ideas of a natural place to go, whether it be a walk in your neighborhood or to a forest trail and ideas to start conversations and things to observe. Um, there's finger plays, it's just born out of my passion for getting outside with my young children and feeling like there was a lack of something to help really guide parents on. It helps, helps, um, families have the answers to questions about nature too. So it starts with all these nature facts so that you can answer all the why's, what's and how's that your young children come up with as you're outside playing. So,  truly my passion. So fun. And now I have a two-year-old who's almost three and my older daughter is in full-time school and we are re-going through the curriculum, um, myself and my almost three year old, and it's been such a treat. 

Hillary Wilkinson (34:21):

Oh, that's lovely. And I, I like how it's just like you said, that opportunity to connect and explore and just be together, you know? Yes. Yeah. So we have to take a short break, but when we come back, I am going to ask Sarah Szuminski for her healthy screen habit. 

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Hillary Wilkinson:

My guest today is an educator, mama, and play advocate at Simplifying Play. She is also the founder, content creator, and all around COP - I assigned you that, that would be the Chief of Play <laugh>. Sarah, it's now the time where I ask you for a healthy screen habit. This is a tip or takeaway that listeners can put into practice in their own home. Do you have one?

Sarah Szuminski (35:20):

I do. And my tip is to make, play a part of your daily rhythm. Just like you schedule snacks and naps and mealtime, prioritize play. When we prioritize play, we send the message to our children that their ideas and interests are valuable, and it helps us remember that it's important to make time for them to really dive into play.

Hillary Wilkinson (35:48):

Fantastic. As always, a complete transcript of this episode as well as a link to Sarah's website: Simplifying play.com can be found in today's show notes. That's where you'll find that Nature Play curriculum as well. So you can find these by going to healthyscreenhabits.org. Click on the podcast button and use the dropdown menu to find this episode. Sarah, thank you so much for being here. It wasn't a playdate per se, but it was a fun hangout. <laugh>,

Sarah Szuminski (36:28):

Thank you so much for having me, Hillary. It's been such a pleasure chatting with you.